2017 has been a real crap show for my family. Well, for the entire world too I should say. But this year has def tipped the scales as one of the worst years that I can remember for my fiance, myself and my Mom and Dad. Starting off the beginning of the year in April when I got into a car accident. That has single handedly thrown our lives upside down. Between recovery, medical bills, lawyer stuff, emotional damages, lost wages. Oh, did I mention that I also lost my job? My jerk of a boss didn’t want to wait for me to heal up and come back. So she came up with a laundry list of reasons to fire me to make herself feel better. I was upset at first, but you know, it was for the best. She was pretty crappy to me anyway. And the thought of having to go back to that job after all that had happened was stressing me out and making recovery even worse. Being let go was def not how I wanted to go out. But here we are. So we’ve been busting our asses to make ends meet, living off of my fiances income alone, and me trying to push my business as hard as I can to make an extra dollar to help out. Wanna test your relationship? Get into financial trouble. Luckily we are strong enough to have kicked it all in the face and have made it work. It has not been easy by any means. Still isn’t. Most weeks we cant even afford to buy groceries. I’ve never eaten so many eggs in my life. I’m pretty sure I hate them now. But we adult and we do what needs to be done. Because that’s what adults do right? eh. Being an adult is fucking awful.
So, the next event on our list is of my Father. This happened in early August. He was working in his shop and was using his metal belt sander and the bristles caught a rag he has in his hand, pulling his hand into the machine and cutting off his ring finger on his left hand. I could show you the pictures, but you’d probably hate me afterwards. So, distress, medical bills, missing a fucking finger. Yeah, not how I would want to spend my summer. And of course this had happened merely days before they were to leave out of town on a trip to mexico for Ballooning (my parents have a hot air balloon business). Needless to say, I begged them not to go. Who knew what kind of medical attention he would get if something happened, because the area they were going to was pretty remote. But, they went anyway. No way they were going to waste all the weeks of planning for the trip. A handful of other mishaps happened on their trip, all that I cant recall at the moment, but I just remember my mother texting me and telling me about something new and shitty just about every day. Especially the day when she texted to tell me that she now has shingles from all the stress she has been under. So, needless to say they threw in the towel and cut their trip short and came on home. My mother was down for at least two weeks because of the pain. I don’t think i’ve ever seen her in so much pain before. It was horrible.
So weeks go by, things seem to be getting better, slightly getting back to normal. And then my parents home gets broken into. Robbing them of the most ridiculous things that would have no value to any person other than my parents. Well, except for their brand new tv that they had JUST bought for themselves. They took files, and my fathers flight logs of that past 30 years. Why the hell would someone take some fucking flight logs?? It was sitting right next to his Go Pro camera, but their dumbasses decided to take his flight logs. We will never understand that reasoning. So they had to spend more money, fixing the doors they broke, replacing material items, installing a security system, trying to regain your sense of peace and trying to somehow recap that fucking 30 years of flight logs. What a fucking mess it was. One afternoon while I was over there my dad shared with me that he had woken up the night before in a panic because he was dreaming that he couldn’t find his wedding ring. He had had it off of course because of his finger. Gone. His wedding ring was gone. The low life garbage humans found his ring and of course took it too. My heart seriously broke for him. I’ve never been filled with so much rage. I will never comprehend how people can do these things to others with no regard. It truly sickens me.
So now to this past couple weeks. I have been having some crazy bleeding (for three straight weeks). Went to the doctor to see whats going on, and got referred out to have an internal ultrasound. Its not uncommon for me to have crazy things going on with my lady parts as I have PCOS and a cornucopia of cysts partying with my ovaries. So I figured that it would just be another routine ultrasound to tell me some of them had ruptured or whatnot. Nothing new. Well, turned out way more grim that expected and was the news that I always knew I would receive one day.
CANCER? REALLY? FOR FUCKS SAKE. What else are we going to get thrown at us this year? I always knew it would come for me eventually though. My mother had the same thing when she was about my age. It was shortly after she had me. Ovarian cancer. And hers started exactly like this. The lining of my uterus has thickened to the point of lesions and a bunch of other medical mumbo jumbo that I dont particularly understand. But my doctors phoned me himself to give me the news. In the 8 years ive been seeing him, that has never happened before. I almost threw up when he told me. What do you even do with that kind of news? So, I go tomorrow for a biopsy of my uterus to see exactly whats going on and how soon we should operate. And if anything can be saved or if it all has to come out. Right before my wedding mind you. ( nov 11). And there also goes my chance of ever being a mother right along with it. The feeling of giving up on life has never been stronger.
So now onto the last few days. We have been in the emergency room twice in the last 2 days because my fiance is having an allergic reaction to something we cant quite pin point. He thinks it was due to some soap that he used in a hotel over the weekend while he was out of town. But we aren’t completely sure. He woke up early this morning at 2 am with burning skin, blurred vision and dizziness. So back to the hospital we went for the second time in 24 hours. Allergic reactions are something I do not mess with. I had one when I was 20 and almost died. So the first sign of hives and im taking action lol. I basically had to force him into the car to go to the hospital. He’s a typical dude. Doesn’t think he needs medical attention. But that second trip would prove otherwise.
So now we wait. Wait for the next blow that life is going to deal us before the year ends. Im getting scared to even have our wedding now in November. What horrible thing is going to happen during that? 2017 needs to flee with a quickness before we all lose our damn minds. I guess ill probably make another post after tomorrow when I know more after my doctor appt.
wish me luck. I could really use it.