Even the heroes play the villian

I decided to write this blog post after watching a video this morning that really upset me. Disgusted me even. There are people in this community that have zero respect for their followers, and fill their heads with endless lies just to line their own pockets.  The worst part is, some of these people used to be excellent representatives of the keto community. Now its all about making a quick buck at the expense of their fans.

If you are new to keto or a lowcarb lifestyle, please, for the love of all that is holy in this world, heed my words. YOU DO NOT NEED PILLS, SUPPLEMENTS, WRAPS, CREAMS, ETC to lose weight. What these companies (and people) are selling you is not for the greater good. All they are doing is preying on the ones who feel like they have no where else to turn. Who haven’t done their research. Who are looking for a quick fix. Please, I beg you. Don’t be mislead into thinking you need these things to succeed in your journey. You don’t.  You can accomplish every single goal you have set in place for yourself all on your own. Sure its hard. Sure its a mental and physical struggle. But that’s what this community is here for. For support, encouragement, advice, help, a shoulder to cry on, to vent to. Everything you need is right here in this community. Not in a bottle of pills or a 350 dollar supplement.

I was once fooled by this shiny new toy. Was excited to be noticed. But was kicked to the curb when I wasn’t “popular” enough.  This journey is not a popularity contest. Its peoples lives they are messing with. It’s people’s health. But they don’t give a damn because they can sleep soundly at night knowing their bills are paid. Eating healthy is already expensive enough. So why waste your money on something that isn’t going to do anything for your body anyway. All this stuff is is another contributor to yo yo dieting.  For kicks lets say that this stuff actually worked. You pay the ridiculous money every month, or however often they shove it down your throat. Its not realistic. Why bother making a change you don’t plan to keep? Its temporary and pointless.  A lifestyle change starts with YOU. You can’t live of supplements forever, let alone pay for them forever.

All this aside, please, just do your research. Don’t rely on just one source either. There is so much good information out there to get your hands on. Not all of it is completely accurate. But if you get the honest basics, then you’re already passed the finish line.

I tell you all this because I care about and respect each and every one of you. I do my best to answer any questions that are ever asked to me on my IG or blog or email. I do get busy sometimes and I do miss things. So if that ever happens, send me an email or a DM on instagram. I will never dismiss you and tell you to go buy something to find your answer. I am not perfect, by any means. But I am here to help you, along with so many other amazing people in this community who have done this lifestyle naturally.  You can do this, I promise.

Mindful Matter

Do you ever wonder what’s going on in another group of people? Like. What it’s like to hang out with those people. Their personalities, quirks. Are they good people? Do they do bad things? ..And then it occurred to me that I need to invest in a pair of mittens.

” What the hey’ll “… oh, living in the south

Annnnnnd then, while this guy walked right behind me. I realized that I really should start doing some squats.

I’m standing in line at customer service in Walmart, listening to two extremely old, county, withered from smoking women try to figure out certain apps on their phone. Such as Twitter. And Hang Out. ….. Can’t this line more any faster

I would like some coffee.

I have already logged 100 hours in a video game in the last week. …. There are 168 hours in a week. Yeah.

I would really like some more coffee.

Today is kind of a bummer. One of those days that no matter what you do you don’t feel like anything you have done or will do, is good enough. Someone will say to you that “youre great!” or, “thanks for printing those papers for me”…. but alas, you are no more appreciated than the dirty rug that lies in front of the door. I hate feeling like this. Actually, I loath feeling like this. So why do I stay? … good question. Probably because the stress of finding a new job and meeting more new people will make me break out in hives. Why can’t I just finish my book and do something with my life. Instead of sitting at this desk doing favors for the masses who are too lazy to do stuff themselves. ehhhh….

Gonna make another cooking video tonight. Im pretty excited about it. Even though it makes me nervous its the only place I feel normal. This is unarguably the reason why we all got fat in the first place. Food was our best friend. It made us happy. It told us it was there for us. Until we ate it and then it wasn’t there for us anymore so we had to go find more.  So then  that food was there for us. .. What a cycle.

Why is the world filled with so many people but is the loneliest place in the universe.

 

I hate Frozen, but I gotta Let It Go (2015)

So many things have been going through my mind over the last month or so.  A lot about this past year.  Changes I have made,  whether it’s been intentional or not.  This post isn’t meant to be a pity party.  Its just some things that I need to get out even if no one ever reads this.

There are so many reasons why I started my keto journey.  Weightloss, acceptance, love, health, children, confidence, etc.  New years eve 2014, I logged onto Facebook and deleted my account.  It had become so poisonous to my life to the point that I couldn’t flip through my news feed without feeling like absolute shit about myself.  Three hundred something friends and not a single one that gave a damn about me.  That’s all that Facebook had become.  A site that was forcing me to give a damn about people who didn’t give a damn about me.  So what was the point?  .. Removing myself from that platform was the best decision I think I have ever made. Now, im sure you are thinking, “well why didnt you just make new friends?” ..Good question.  Let me tell you why.  I did. I tried. A lot.  But it never worked out.  I have lived in this town for ten years and I have never once felt like I fit in here.  So, with deleting my Facebook, I also basically deleted every “friend” that I had in real life.  The ones who only came around when they needed something or just wanted to get drunk.  These people made me begin to hate myself. I was gaining weight.  I was growing more depressed by each day.  I was failing at life. Cutting everyone out was hard and amazing at the same time, and I will never regret that decision.

So, Keto.  I was sitting unhappily at 180 pounds.  To some of you that isnt a lot.  But im 5’2. So on me, it was a lot.  Its sad how much you go unnoticed when you are overweight too.  We all think that it makes us stick out even more.  But it doesn’t.  You become invisible to everyone.  So this transition of cutting everyone out of my life turned into an easy one.  Because no one even noticed I was gone.  No. One. So you can only imagine how that effected me later on.  I even felt alienated from my boyfriend.  He started going out more (without me), doing things at home (without me).  I felt like no one wanted to be around me because I was fat and depressed.  So I threw myself whole heartedly into keto and started losing weight and feeling better about myself and soon didnt give a shit about what anyone else thought or didnt think about me.  Even my relationship improved.  I still wasn’t ready to let anyone back into my life, but I was searching for an outlet.  So thats where my Lazy Keto instagram began. Cooking has been my number one passion my whole life.  And transitioning my cooking style to keto was seamless. So I started posting about it.  And meeting others who were on the same life journey.  Soon I found myself making amazing friends who I could relate to and feel accepted by.  Because at the end of the day, thats what we all want.  To be accepted.  I found that and so much more.

It has propelled me into a better person who wants to better her life and go after her dreams when I never had the courage or confidence to do so before.  I want to write a cook book and share my passion and recipes with anyone who is on that similar life path.  We all want to lose weight and be pretty and loved.  But overall, we just want to be happy. Right? .. most days any way.

But it all isn’t rainbows  and sunshine.  I get overwhelmed sometimes.  I get afraid to let people down.  I get afraid to be weak.  I am still invisible in my day to day life.  No one at work asks me how im doing or what ive been up to.  Or notices when ive gotten a haircut or when im upset about something.  Its just the place I live. Or maybe its just me, I dont know.  Maybe im just not likable. Try coming to that realization… Its rough. And its one I think about ALL the time. I try to be a good person. Im nice to everyone. I hold doors open for people, say please and thank you, etc.  But thats not always the kindness I get in return.  Now dont get me wrong, I have some pretty amazing friends now. One that Ive met not too long ago and has quickly become a huge part of my life.  She is the pharmacy tech where I fill my happy pills and one of the only people who remembered my name or asked me how I was doing after my surgery.  A girl who knew nothing about me, but still cared to ask.  It struck such a huge chord with me and I knew right then that I wanted to be apart of her life and have her be a part of mine.  So I did what any normal girl would do… gave my number to the store manager and asked her to give it to her haha not creepy and stalkerish at all! But it worked!!!! And now she is my bestfriend.  THE best kind of friend that I was always hoping I would find.  And through my instagram page I have made many many other friends who are so dear to my heart. From the east coast to the west coast. And one particularly in Ohio that has so much of my heart and has stuck with me through so much for being someone i’ve never met face to face.  She is 11 years younger than me, and you would never even know it.

Over the last month I have been jotting down some goals that I want to set for myself in 2016.  Non of this new years resolution crap.  Things that I should have done a long time ago but just couldn’t.  Some of them arent even health related either.  Ill post those goals closer to the end of the month since ive still been adding to it.

I guess my point with all of this, whether it be just for myself, or if someone else can take something from this, Just because you have a depression, or are invisible to the world, you can still find happiness.  Find that one thing that makes your heart sing and hold onto it for dear life. No one else matters but you. You are always number one.

Coming Up For Air

Today I sat down at my laptop and decided that I really needed to get serious about my website. I have so many ideas, recipes, thoughts and dreams for this site. I guess I have been scared? Why? good question… I guess its just been pretty intimidating. Also while simultaneously working on my cookbook. Some days i’m like YEAHH today is the day girl!!! You’re gonna finish this book and its gonna be great and everyone is gonna love it! And then there are other days when i’m just like, nope. Why would anyone read this, Pinterest already has everything anyone could ever want! ..bleh. confidence is still something I am working on. But its a good sign that I am even writing this blog right now. I have so many AMAZING supporters and a fitfam that is ALWAYS there for me no matter what. I know I would not be where I am right now without them all. So here’s to the start of something beautiful. I hope you all join me on this adventure.