Ramble 

I realize just how much time I spend criticizing myself in my head. 
So much that I can’t even focus on what’s in front of me. Why are you like this? Why can’t you manage your weight like you used to? You’re disgusting. You’re a disappointment. Why did you wear this outfit today, you look horrible. You look fat. Sit up straight. Why are you slouching. It makes you look fatter. Stop thinking about shit that happened forever ago. It doesn’t matter anymore. But wait, it does matter. Concentrate on what they’re saying to you. Don’t tune them out. Pay attention. Ask a question. Show them you’re paying attention. Stop slouching. Did you remember to answer that email? Fuck. Answer that email. Why didn’t you take your meds today? Take them when you get home. Where is your motivation. Why are you so unhappy. 

I live inside my mind. 

I feel like I’ve missed out on so much in life. I thought meds were supposed to help me with that. I feel let down in a way. 

But I press on. Willing myself to take them at the proper times each day. Hell, sometimes just willing myself to take them at all. Patterns just aren’t my thing apparently. 

The internet is a scary place. I used to feel so free and happy about posting things or talking about certain things about myself to friends and vice versa. we were all just forming friendships and support; Building a family. But now I feel nervous sometimes to open back up like that. The feeling in the back of my head that you’re just being judged. It sucks to think you can’t please everyone. Like it’s my own shortcoming. I just want everyone to be good. 

I just want to have fun again. I’m tired of things always being so serious. My journey was so much easier that way. I stayed on track more. Creating recipes excited me. I wasn’t as depressed. I had a purpose. Now I just feel like a nuisance. 

So you say, alright. This is it. I’m gonna take a break for a little while. Go be ME. But seriously what the fuck does that even mean. Sure, I have way too many hobbies but my passion IS where I choose to put it most. But how does that define? I live with this overwhelming feeling that something is missing. But can never quite figure it out. But the internet gives me gratitude sometimes. Often gives me joy. So we all come back. It’s become a psychological drug. 

Hi, if you’ve made it this far and you’re new here? Hello, I live with depression, high anxiety and I’m bipolar. PCOS and gluten intolerant. We all have our shit I guess. 

Are you uncomfortable now? 

It’s ok, I am too. 

I think I change my hair so much because I’m waiting for that right color that makes me feel complete. Confident even. The adventure is fun though. The never ending search for contentment. 

How do you get that fire back. How do you stop feeling like a failure. How do I get myself to stop getting up and eating cereal in the middle of the night. I feel like a brick wall that’s been smashed into by a speeding car. Oh wait… bad analogy. But still time consuming to reconstruct. I need to reconstruct. 

I need to reconstruct. 

6/19/2017 Keto Restart (entry 1)

Sheesh. What a year it has been already. Without dwelling all over again, I was in a car accident in April. And ever since then my diet has suffered. It’s not that I gave up, I just became complacent. At the beginning of my week I jumped right back in the cold water. No toe dipping for this chick. It’s all or nothing. Always.

Restart Weight: 165.8

What I ate:  Monday – Eggs with butter and cream cheese, chicken broth, half a pork chop, asparagus with parm cheese and half an avocado with onion and tomato.  Tuesday – A pepperoni Real Good Pizza with an egg on top, a Hardees lettuce wrapped burger with a side of orange and yellow peppers. Wednesday – A salami, cheese and olive snack pack, baked chicken breasts.

The transition back has actually been easy. Just like riding a bike. And its where my heart is anyway. So lets do this!!!!! I’m not really going to announce this yet on my other platforms as i’m getting my bearings back, as to not disappoint.  But I will be keeping track here and doing daily entries!

Til Tomorrow!

Strawberry Cheesecake Mini-Pie’s

Crust 

1 cup almond flour 

2.5 tbsp butter (melted) 

1 tsp sweetener (I used 3 packets because it was all I had on hand) You can use whatever sweetener your prefer. 


*Melt butter in the micro for 30 secs and then mix together with the almond flour and sweetener until it forms a soft meal texture!


**Tip– I used small glazed stoneware bowls and to avoid cracking the glaze, go ahead and pat the crust into the bowls and put them in the oven and then turn it on to 350 and let the bowls preheat with the oven** 


*After the oven preheats, bake the crust for 15 mins! 


Filling

1 sugar free jello pudding packet; cheesecake flavor 

1 cup milk

1/5 cup heavy whipping cream 

*Mix together all ingredients until the pudding sets; pop into the fridge to thicken while the crust bakes. 

*After the crust has cooled you can fill them with the pudding mixture!


* I then heated up 2 tbsp sugar free strawberry jam to mix into the top of the pie! 




Enjoy! 🙂

**Sorry about the use of the milk, for my keto friends. I knew it wouldn’t set properly using just the cream. I am though going to experiment with a cream and water mixture next time, so we shall see how that turns out!**
Per one pie: 24.5g carb, 9g sugar, 14g dietary fiber 

Srirachoy Is Here!

The time has FINALLY come!!!!! My sauce is finally available!!!!!! It all still feels like a dream! I don’t think it will feel real until im in the kitchen this weekend making up my first giant batch!!! I cannot thank everyone enough for seeing me through this entire process and always having my back! I can’t wait to see where this takes us!

You can purchase a jar on my new website! http://www.Srirachoy.com

If you don’t know about Srirachoy yet, It’s a low carb/keto friendly sauce that I have created! It’s a sweet and spicy combination suitable for meats and veggies! I’ve seen folks use it as a dipping sauce, dressings, etc.  It’s possibilities are only limited to your imagination!

Keto Q&A

Been a while since I’ve done a Q&A, and since I have gained new followers lately, I thought it would be a good idea to do one! So here we go!

Is it possible to do Keto and be vegetarian or vegan?  — Yes! You will just have to adjust certain foods to be able to hit certain macros or get the proper fat intake. You would def need to be ok with sacrificing certain things in order to keep it strict though.  As most veggies are high in carbs, so in my opinion that would be kind of a struggle to stay (at the least) under 30g carb to get into ketosis. You would def need to consume a really high amount of healthy fats to balance out the loss of protein from meats. I don’t know a whole lot about the actual process of vegan keto, but I do know it can be done!

Thoughts on heavy whipping cream in coffee… some say it stalls you; any other suggestions? — HWC is what I use in my coffee every single morning.  Even if I make bullet proof coffee, I will still add a little HWC to it. I have never noticed it to be the cause of me stalling. I do just recommend to make sure you stick to the serving size (1-2tbsp) so you aren’t collecting extra carbs without realizing it!

Do you get days where you weight seems to stay the same? What do you eat or do to keep the scale going down? — YES! My weight is always all over the place. Sometimes it won’t budge no matter what I do, then other times I will bounce the same 5lbs around daily. I find if im eating too much meat, I will stall majorly. In the past I have done Egg Fasts that have helped the stall. But I found that the results weren’t lasting. That could just be me though, as Ive seen others have success with them. If I notice that I cannot seem to break the stall, I will cut meat out for a few days and focus on veggies and leafy greens. That (usually) seems to do the trick!

How much weight have you lost? — Overall, I have lost a total of 45lbs. BUT, I have bounced around inside those 45lbs over the last year and a half. Most being due to some poor choices around holidays and then medication weight gain.

I’ve very recently decided on going keto and got ketosis test strips but I have yet to reach a high level.  Should it be taking this long? — Some people can get into ketosis pretty quickly; others it can take up to a few weeks. When I first started it took me a good 3 weeks before I saw anything on my strips. But I was still losing weight. Nowadays, I can get into ketosis in about 3/4 days. But keep in mind, even seeing a small amount on the strips is good! Ketones are ketones!

Have you tried dairy free along with keto for the PCOS symptoms? if so, did you have any different results? — I have not tried to go dairy free during keto. I honestly don’t think I could actually haha. Keto alone has helped my PCOS symptoms tremendously.  Might be a good experiment for me to try though!

Keto friendly Starbucks drink? — My go to drink at Starbucks is an Americano with heavy whipping cream and sugar free vanilla or sugar free cinnamon dolce syrup. That drink can be made hot or iced or blended.  Other options are unsweetened teas that you can add HWC or syrups to. Basically any plain coffee/americano/tea and just add HWC and a sugar free syrup!

Do you calculate protein vs fat vs carbs? — No, I do not.  When I first started I tried to.  But honestly it was just too overwhelming for me. You def will have better results if you can understand it and stick to it, I just found that that method wasn’t for me.  You can google “Keto Calculator” and its the first one that comes up.  You enter all your info and it will tell you your recommended macros! Hope that helps!

What are you must have keto ingredients? — Definitely cream cheese, cheddar cheese, Kerry Gold butter, coconut oil, heavy whipping cream, kale/spinach and frozen cauliflower. These are my automatic staples when I go grocery shopping! I find I use them in almost all of my cooking.

When starting do you jump right in and stay below 20 carbs or do you follow an Atkins type diet for a couple weeks? — I go straight in. No induction period. If I don’t go all or nothing, then its harder for me to say no to certain foods and I wont stay on track.

Are you on birth control? Do they help your PCOS symptoms? — I am not on birth control and am personally very against it. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 14 years old and then they put me on birth control when I was 15 thinking that it would regulate my periods. Well, it did not. It caused me to not have one single period for over a year. They finally took me off of it and then I had to go on medication to MAKE me have a period. Ever since then my periods were worse than they were before the BC and just continued to get worse and more screwed up. I strongly believe that BC added to my complications of PCOS. I will NEVER again put it in my body under any circumstances. Keto is the only thing that has ever effected my PCOS in a positive way. I have normal monthly periods now and I dont experience thinning/hair loss anymore.

How often do you splurge on SF sweets? (Starbucks, bars, etc) and does it effect your weight loss? — I treat myself to Starbucks once a week. As far as other sugar free treats, like bars or candy, that is a rare occasion but I do keep them on hand for cravings sake or if I know that im going to be out for a while and will need a snack. Def not something I would want to eat every single day. Too much keto “junk food” def effects my weight loss and makes me bloat.

I have a close friend with PCOS and I want to suggest the keto diet to her but im not that familiar with PCOS.  Should I recommend it to her or mind my own business?– I would def suggest it to her! Especially since she is a close friend and will know you are coming from a caring place and not just some random person trying to tell you to do something that might take offense. You can tell her that you follow some people online that deal with PCOS and have found a way to combat the symptoms. I would start with that and see if she is interested! If she is, then direct her to where she can find out more info, or if she isn’t interested then I would nicely just explain that you care about her and are trying to be helpful and think this is something that might benefit her. If she still refuses the help then you can just tell her she is a big dum dum lol…. JK DONT DO THAT. But rather just print out some pamphlets and start leaving them around her house; you know, the adult thing to do =P

Roasted Cauliflower Soup

I’ll be the first one to tell you how much I hate cauliflower. Like.. HATE it. It’s probably the only vegetable that I don’t like. But! Put cauliflower into mashed form? Love it. So, I was a little skeptical about making a recipe for soup using cauliflower, but in the end I def surprised myself! 

What you will need: 

1 head fresh cauliflower 

2/3 cup heavy whipping cream 

2lb carton of chicken broth (may substitute veggie stock if making it vegetarian. But then you probably wouldn’t use the hwc would you. Well whatever you just do what you want, sweetheart.)

2 cups chopped mushrooms 

1/2 cup chopped red onions 

4oz cream cheese 

1 tsp garlic powder 

Salt/pepper to taste 

Olive oil and paprika 

(Cheese if you are feelin fancy) 

Start by roasting your cauliflower on 425 for 30 mins. I cut the cauli away from the stalk and liberally covered them in olive oil and then sprinkled them lightly with paprika. Trust me on the paprika; it was amazing. 


After they’re done roasting add them to your blender along with the 2/3 cup HWC and 2/3 cup chicken broth (reserve the rest for the soup).  After all that is combined go ahead and add your garlic powder and cream cheese to the blender as well so the CC can melt in with no lumps. Blend until well combined.  Let that mixture sit and thicken as you sautéed your mushrooms and onions in a large pot. Once those are cooked down add the rest of the chicken broth to your pot and add the cauliflower mixture. 

At this point you could add in any additional cheese to the soup to melt and add flavor. I opted not to and just added a little shredded parm cheese to the finished soup. 

Let the soup simmer on low for 10-15 mins! Serve and enjoy!!!! 


I LOVED this soup. Truly, loved it. It reminded me of a creamy potato soup. It was nice and thick and filling! Just what I’ve been wanting this winter. 10/10 would recommend 🙂 

Enlightened Ice Cream Review

I honestly have no idea how I got selected to receive a giant box filled with ice cream, but I ain’t even mad about it.  When I opened this box I had no idea what to expect inside. I had briefly read about the new flavors, but since none of my local stores carry the pints, I shielded myself from such envy.

img_1275 I was so excited to see such a variety of flavors. I immediately cracked open the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough… and then read that I needed to let it soften.. pfft… so I stuck it into the microwave for 15 secs haha worked like a charm.  My goodness! It was delicious! I got about a quarter through the pint when I realized I could taste the Erythritol. I saw it was one of the ingredients, but felt it would be ok since I can’t usually taste it in cold products since it’s fitting with the cooling effect of Erythritol.  But for the average person, this is no concern.  I’m just super sensitive to it for some reason, and in certain products it will give me migraines; but nonetheless it did not keep me from enjoying every last bite! .. and with no migraine! So, A+ guys.

The next flavor we tried was the Caramel Oatmeal Cookie Crunch. Oh yasss babes. This one was UHmazing. My fiance and I were literally fighting over spoonfuls of it.

The Triple Chocolate was very tasty at first, a very strong chocolately-fudgey flavor, but the Erythritol was pretty strong on this one.  Enough so that my fiance could also taste it. I didn’t venture too much further into that one.

img_1422

Next up was the Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip. Just a good ol’ straight forward yummy ice cream.  Not mind blowing, but not bad. A tasty enjoyable experience for the peanut butter lover.

The Sea Salt Caramel was one that was emptied first. That one was most enjoyed by my fiance.  He says that one was his favorite out of the bunch. I enjoyed it as well, save for the Erythritol flavor after a few bites. But the caramel swirls were the very best part.

Mint Chip is just stupid delicious. Any kind of mint chip ice cream has been my favorite since I was young. This one was super creamy but not overpowering as the Halo Top mint chip is, in my opinion. A big thumbs up on this one.

And last but certainly not least… My favorite one! the Frozen Hot Chocolate ❤ ❤ ❤ oh myyyyy.  This one guys, incredible. Chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips snuggled around creamy marshmallow swirl. I was in heaven. To my delight, I also didn’t notice any Erythritol flavor whatsoever. I even had to read the ingredients a couple times to make sure I didn’t miss it. I don’t know how they disguised it in that one, but good job guys. By far my favorite of the bunch!

img_1425 Yeah. That happened. I wasn’t letting any of that one go to waste!

So the verdict! – If you want an indulgent ice cream, these are def for you. How do they compare against Halo Top?  Honestly, I can’t pick one over the other. They both have certain qualities on their own. Halo Top has a more light and refreshing texture/flavor.  While the Enlightened flavors are more decadent.  Halo Top does though offer a lower carb count, if that is important to your lifestyle. But the carb count on the Enlightened pints are just as reasonable if eaten by the serving size. Which is actually pretty damn accurate.  Due to the richness of the flavors, the serving size is exactly how much you will find yourself wanting.  Overall, def a good product and im so happy I got to try it!